I don't know who I am....

I am who I am. Sometimes.
I am who I am when I want to be... When my dad isn't telling me that I need to go to college and be a chef with a restaurant so he could work there and do what he has always wanted; When people from church aren't judging me because I dress differently and try too hard. I can never relax around them. I am who I want to be when my mother isn't constantly criticizing what makes me. I am who I want to be when I'm not overly stressed because of college and money.
Truth is though I really don't know who I am. I know I am only 17 years old but I worry and think about these small details of who am I and who do I want to be? No one else my age does this however. I don't even know who I am when I'm alone because I'm so caught up in the fact that I'm behind in my summer classes; I'm caught up in the fact that I'm not getting paid enough and won't make enough money for my trip, and I'm caught up because simply I am not who I want to be. I want to be some supermodel, flirty, girl that has great stories and everyone including girls like me as a person. I am not the life of the party. Ever. I am the girl in the corner who sings to herself and bounces on her feet- I can't even keep a beat. I don't know who I am without my best friends from Nevada. They were my everything, I talked to them about everything everyday and now all I have is my dad (which he is amazing, don't get me wrong! Sometimes I just need a girl to talk to about girl things).
Most people think I have everything figured out and that I am so smart because I got a scholarship and I will be successful. Yes, I have a "plan" I know what I think I want to do. I am going to RCC for one year just to finish high school then I'm going to SOU for four years in Business and Accounting then I'm going to major in Culinary Arts in San Francisco. This is my plan. It has been my plan for years now.
I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO I AM!! ASAP!
I'm tired of this cranky, stressed out person I have been lately. I also have been getting hurt a lot more than usual too. Tomorrow I am going to get a blessing... my first step in helping myself.